to feel the presence

The last  eid-mubarak i decided to do things that none of my big family members had ever thought about.

It was an old dusty mirrored-cabinet, made from woods. you know the old ones if you did saw one or have one. growing up, my grandfather's house had always been a playground to me. You had butterflies in your stomach and you are always eager to come out from the car to meet cousins and play. well, in that age those are the real things you need to handle first. the priority was to play. In my grandfather's house or i shall called him atuk, there was always antique stuffs. Books, tea cup sets, plates, wardrobes, photos. it's like you are living in a museum. A hidden museum but most of the times, it looks like a haunted house. dark place but it could get really bright during the day. when you opened up the windows, doors and the old metal-wood sliding doors.

Truth be told, i couldn't remember when was the year that he passed away or the month but one thing i could remember that he wasn't there when i received my pmr result so i reckoned he pass away in 2010 maybe, because during the 100th day, i wasn't there to recite Tahlil. where was i? i'm confused.

So, i did my tour a bit around the house, touching things i shouldn't and read a book inside the cabinet. they told me, the relatives that none read the book except for this one person,which i couldn't recall his or her name, read the book about medics. After that none showed interest. during the 2011 eid-mubarak, i read one of the books and decided to take care of the whole collection myself. I was busy with schools and couldn't piece myself to read it.

2012 eid-mubarak, i took it all away in boxes and drive it to KL. My uncle asked me, what are those and i said encyclopedia. well he said " what would you need books for? we have internet." i was kinda pissed off  i must say but looking back, i wouldn't read it all. i guess the things that trigger me to keep it in my hands was that i couldn't bared see his book being ate by the book worms and to think that maybe one day the book will turn into ashes in that house, at least i could save it all while i can. if these encyclopedias were to be damage, it should be damage under my keeps if it was meant to be that way. at least i have the guts to save it.

I personally thinks that i keep these ' The American People Encyclopedia' because  at least part of him stays with me, in my house.

I miss you grandpa, i miss you much.

                                                                                                                       love ,
                                                                                                                         Granddaughter