A boy

I can't remember how beautiful my childhood was with him

All I could remember about how I wish I could choke him on his neck, shook him up, punched his face

But all I ever did was throw a word or two then ran away

It hurts me. It hurts me to know that  a boy can easily throw condemnation to a girl who needed acceptance in the society.

A girl that needs to be seen just like he sees everybody else in this world

A girl who needs nothing but a true friendship to keep her strong enough so that she can break the wall she builds herself.

Shattered. Everything's shattered and I saw him as a target.

A small circle in a big circle in a much bigger circle with different colour there he lies.

With knees to his chest, I was ready to pull the bow string and released the arrow

Just like he released words to make me feel small because of my big body

Screw you, screw you for making me such a miserable girl under the blanket waiting for a warm hug

Screw you for making me believe I wasn't good enough.

Screw you for that.

I told myself, whatever I do, I must beat him.

Beat him until he knows there's no point in arguing

Beat him until he sees there's no one could hold his words, wrap them up and make him better again

Beat him until he sees you are the one, the host where hope lies and ready to crawl out to save you from being your own slave.

Three days ago, he said

' Look, though we fight before but at the end of the day, I would still look for you'

I beat him, he didn't even know.